Two Hosts Fall Flat at Academy Awards

            Nothing against Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, two fine talents in the entertainment world, but as dual hosts of the annual Academy Awards extravaganza this year, they were pretty much a flop.

            Over the course of three and a half hours, the two engaged in only one meaningful stretch of what might be called comedy, and that was after they had descended to the stage from the rafters in an elaborate carriage that had nothing to do with what had preceded its appearance or what followed it.  It just seemed to be some producer’s idea of something clever, maybe even unexpected.  Instead, it was just about as pointless as the following back-and-forth between the two, which primarily focused on introductions of the actors nominated for awards. 

            George Clooney appeared to be the designated punching bag for the evening, as Martin and Baldwin threw more than a few barbs at him.  They all fell flat and felt forced, as did most of the other one-liners that had been written for the two.

            Actually, someone named Neil Patrick Harris opened the show, with a song-and-dance routine that seemed to be an effort at explaining why Martin and Baldwin were co-hosting.  “No One Wants to Do It Alone” was one of two big production numbers that featured more dancers than there were nominees.  It was a tad more impressive than the second such offering, a montage of dance sequences, choreographed to the melodies of the five nominated movie scores, that was heavy on gymnastic athleticism and not much else.

            Otherwise, the show, which aired on ABC last Sunday night, went pretty much as expected, which is to say, it was long, with moments here and there that made it worth watching and with many more that were too heavily scripted to be especially interesting.

            For the record, “The Hurt Locker” won the Best Picture award along with five others, including a first-female-ever best director (Kathryn Bigelow) and the original screenplay (by co-producer Mark Boal).  “Avatar,” the big money-making film of the year, nabbed three minor prizes for its technical work.

            Speeches, as always, dominated the show.  Most were forgettable, but a few were moving, including the one by Christoph Waltz (best supporting actor for “Inglourious Basterds”).  Jeff Bridges (best actor for “Crazy Heart”) rambled like his character in “The Big Lebowski” in between thanking his deceased parents, and Sandra Bullock (best actress for “The Blind Side”) also rambled until she thanked her mother.  She also said that Meryl Streep is a great kisser, for what that piece of information is worth.

            Among the other highlights (relatively speaking of course) was the tribute to the recently deceased John Hughes that was introduced by Molly Ringwald and Matthew Broderick and included snippets from many of the films Hughes conceived and directed/produced.  (It’s a surprisingly impressive list, including “Uncle Buck,” “Planes, Trains and Automobiles,” “Ferris Buehler’s Day Off,” “Pretty in Pink,” “The Breakfast Club,” and “Home Alone.”)

            This year, for the annual “In Memoriam” segment (honoring those in the industry who died since the last show), singer James Taylor provided a mournful treatment of the Beatles’ “In My Life.”  It was modestly effective as the photos and brief film clips of the recently departed appeared on screen.

            The evening did not include the big tributes to living legends that have been regular events in past years.  Thus, no one was feted with the Irving Thalberg award, and no one received a lifetime achievement award.  Instead, there was a throw-away segment in honor of horror films that was heavy on Hitchcock (“Psycho” and “The Birds”) and Kubrick (“The Shining”) with a slew of scenes from slasher and monster flicks thrown in for good measure.

            Not much else caught our attention as being noteworthy.  Ben Stiller probably embarrassed himself more than anyone else (leaving aside several women who wore dresses that just did not work for them) when he appeared made up like a character from “Avatar” to announce the best make-up award.  He tried too hard to be funny, which seems to be his M.O. (based on past appearances at the same awards show).

            Of course, everyone tries too hard to be funny at the Oscars.  At least most of those announcing the awards were all business.  The banter between presenters that has so often dragged down previous shows was kept to a minimum this year.

            And Mr. Baldwin and Mr. Martin were, for the most part, inoffensive and irrelevant.  It’s faint praise to be sure, but it could have been worse. They could have had bigger roles and more to do.